Category: Diary Entries

Harvey Is Not A Morning Person – My cat is a teenager…

Harvey Is Not A Morning Person – My cat is a teenager…

Harvey is not a morning person. If he had his way he wouldn’t surface before 4pm. I’m pretty sure my neighbours imagine that I secretly live with a teenager as I wander around getting ready on a morning, sporadically yelling “TIME TO GET UP HARVEY!!” like a total lunatic. One might argue that cats don’t …

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Cat Scratches – Cuddles Interrupted… so much pain…

Cat Scratches – Cuddles Interrupted… so much pain…

Today Bailey and I were enjoying a beautiful cuddle, his cute little feet snuggled up warmly against my chest as he purred up a storm. Clive decided this would be an opportune moment to attempt to leap onto the highest shelf in my wardrobe, despite the obvious fact that A) he’s a clumsy fat fuck …

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The Lovebird Incident – Sometimes cats do the unthinkable…

The Lovebird Incident – Sometimes cats do the unthinkable…

Sometimes cats do the unthinkable. Sometimes they do something so terrible that you’re led to question why it is that you willingly bend over backwards to accommodate their every need and desire. I hesitated to write this post for fear that this incident was so heinous that I’d be judged upon the actions of the …

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My House Was Egged – Bailey was less than amused…

My House Was Egged – Bailey was less than amused…

This afternoon some little scrotums decided to egg my house. Well done kids, you’ve performed a great service to the community by turning my frontage into a giant, festering omelette. Were Gordon Ramsay to feature my home on an upcoming episode of Hell’s Kitchen, he’d no doubt give you an A for effort, then kick …

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Happy Friday! Time for Morning Cuddles

Happy Friday! Time for Morning Cuddles

It’s Friday! That can only mean one thing; it’s nearly time for Saturday morning cat cuddles. By cat cuddles, I mean being stamped on by “pin-feet” Harvey, who has no grace. Why he can’t step over my face is beyond me – he stamps in my eye sockets and punches me in the mouth as …

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Big Cats In Small Spaces – Clive loves his tunnel…

Big Cats In Small Spaces – Clive loves his tunnel…

What do you get if you cross a large but rather simple ginger cat with a small but rather flexible ferret tunnel? A spectacle. Clive has had this tunnel since he was a kitten and he still plays with it every day, despite the fact that he’s quite obviously too large for it now. It’s …

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Clive Ate A Bad Thing – Why cats shouldn’t eat bad things…

Clive Ate A Bad Thing – Why cats shouldn’t eat bad things…

Sometimes cats eat things they shouldn’t. Often, as with annoying infant children, they’re completely unaware that they shouldn’t be eating this thing. Even as the evidence streams endlessly from their angry and tender anus following a particularly unwelcome ingestion, they seem oblivious to the do’s and don’ts of the digestive system. Clive is the eater …

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Harvey – When Good Cats Go Bad – Vet Visit!

Harvey – When Good Cats Go Bad – Vet Visit!

Every six months or so, Harvey makes a guest appearance at the vets to get his asthma checked. He’s somewhat of a celebrity at the local veterinary clinic, so I wasn’t entirely surprised with the exchange that took place when I called through to book an appointment. “Hello! I need to bring Harvey in for …

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