Tag: Bailey

Cat Scratches – Cuddles Interrupted… so much pain…

Cat Scratches – Cuddles Interrupted… so much pain…

Today Bailey and I were enjoying a beautiful cuddle, his cute little feet snuggled up warmly against my chest as he purred up a storm. Clive decided this would be an opportune moment to attempt to leap onto the highest shelf in my wardrobe, despite the obvious fact that A) he’s a clumsy fat fuck …

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The Lovebird Incident – Sometimes cats do the unthinkable…

The Lovebird Incident – Sometimes cats do the unthinkable…

Sometimes cats do the unthinkable. Sometimes they do something so terrible that you’re led to question why it is that you willingly bend over backwards to accommodate their every need and desire. I hesitated to write this post for fear that this incident was so heinous that I’d be judged upon the actions of the …

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My House Was Egged – Bailey was less than amused…

My House Was Egged – Bailey was less than amused…

This afternoon some little scrotums decided to egg my house. Well done kids, you’ve performed a great service to the community by turning my frontage into a giant, festering omelette. Were Gordon Ramsay to feature my home on an upcoming episode of Hell’s Kitchen, he’d no doubt give you an A for effort, then kick …

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Happy Friday! Time for Morning Cuddles

Happy Friday! Time for Morning Cuddles

It’s Friday! That can only mean one thing; it’s nearly time for Saturday morning cat cuddles. By cat cuddles, I mean being stamped on by “pin-feet” Harvey, who has no grace. Why he can’t step over my face is beyond me – he stamps in my eye sockets and punches me in the mouth as …

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Good Morning – A Poem by Bailey

Good Morning – A Poem by Bailey

Good morning! Excuse me, is something amiss? Hello? Open up! What’s the meaning of this? Just look at the time now, it’s almost half four, I have to insist that you open this door! Haven’t you noticed, it’s time I was fed? Hello? Listen up! Are you sure you’re not dead? Hey you! What’s the …

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Welcome Home – From The Cats

Welcome Home – From The Cats

Well that’s me home and another year older. Goodbye youth, hello incontinence pads, copious quantities of gin and in all likelihood, more cats. Immediately home from my trip, Bailey and Harvey shriek “FREE US FROM THIS FILTHY HOVEL”. They shoot between my legs and beat a hasty retreat through next door’s hydrangea (sorry Donna) – …

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