Tag: Destruction

Sodding Fleas

Sodding Fleas

With the arrival of summer comes the arrival of fleas. It escapes me what purpose these horrendous fucking insects serve; I’m certain they exist solely to infest my home and feast on my flesh like disgusting, microscopic vampires. When it comes to fleas the cats seem generally unperturbed, excluding the odd occasion when they suddenly …

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Rain Rain Go Away

Rain Rain Go Away

Recently we’ve enjoyed a rare spell of dry weather, most unheard of and typically short lived. Today we witnessed a return to the British Summer we all know and love, more commonly considered the fucking monsoon season. As I left for work this morning, the cats fixed me with a withering stare as I gleefully …

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The Hangover

The Hangover

This morning I had a hangover. Cats don’t understand hangovers. In fact any extra time spent horizontal is clearly for the sole benefit of the Trio. Now, before you judge, I’m somewhat of a lightweight and not much into casual substance abuse but every once in a while the neighbours and I like to have …

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How To Cook With Cats

How To Cook With Cats

Step 1. Take out chopping board and remove chicken from packaging. Step 2. Place the cat on the floor. Step 3. Using a large knife, commence dicing chicken into chunks. Step 4. Place the cat on the floor. Step 5. Attempt to extract chicken packaging from the cat before he eats it entirely and requires …

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Itty Bitty Destructor Kitty

Itty Bitty Destructor Kitty

Hello everyone, it’s Throwback Thursday! Here’s Bailey when he was just an itty bitty destructor kitty. Two years on and he’s still a destructive little prick but he has moved on from innocent destruction and any carnage now largely involves me coming home to headless corpses and feathery atrocities. If anyone out there would like …

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